did you see the stylish kids in the riot? ||| arslan [v. svefn-g-englar]

"Hey if you go look on I-90 somewhere around Syracuse... you might find pieces of a guitar I've had since I was 15... the other night the trailer came open and my guitars went flying out onto the open road. We had no idea until the next morning when I got the call. The newer guitar survived... but the old guitar.. the old bastard... the sentimental beast that I've played over 1000 shows with was quote: "It looked like it had been hit several times, it was so completely demolished we didn't pick it up". I of course went into immediate denial. I wanted to run back to the spot of the deceased guitar and drop to my knees and scream. As I cleared my head of the tragedy... The mystery of how the trailer popped open solved ITSELF. "Old bastard" was depressed about being the spare tire and killed itself. And, in a fit of jealous rage pulled the new cocky hot-shot guitar out onto the dangerous open road with him. I do know."

anyways. i'm at school right now... it's open block, we have half an hour until my second period class starts. it's study hall... oh, jesus christ, the pain!!!! the pain! we don't have real school tomorrow, which is ultra great. it's, um, "diversity day" or something. so we're watching foreign movies. i signed up for jakob the liar because elissa was in it, but now i feel pissed cos sam is watching some french gay movie or something and i wanna go. even if i can't switch out of my first movie and into sam's movie, i'll go anyway and tell em i forgot which movie i was going to... or something. heh. i don't know. i'd much rather watch a french movie about gay people than... robin williams speaking yiddish or some shit.....

the gay/straight alliance is meeting in the other room and this sinfully ANNOYING boy is talking about "homosexual indians" or some shit and every other word is "like." DIE IN A HOLE! JESUS CHRIST! i hate that.

max is being an ass and stealing me and sam's "meowy... meowy... DIE" thing. he bugs me to say it all the time. what the piss! i'm not your bitch!

hmmmm... what else... i've been itching to write something in my brand spanking new untouched perfectly pristine white notebook that i bought two days ago but so far..... nothing. i have had NO inspiration whatsoever. it feels weird not to carry around ideas in the back of my mind. that's what i've always done- whenever i talk or move around or go somewhere, everything is like.. i dunno, it gives me inspiration. does that make sense? i get inspiration from everything and it lingers all day, but right now i'm really just totally empty and it's odd. i've been thinking about writing a badly drawn boy fic, but i don't wanna start something else that i'm not gonna finish and just agonize over forever. i thought i'd end my coldplay/blur fic really fast, maybe end my slash coldplay fic abruptly too, and get rid of my non-slash strokes story. that's never going anywhere. and whatever else isn't finished/isn't going anywhere gets trashed. i guess this is like spring cleaning week, haha.

yep... so... i really wanna just keep writing because we have... um... 23 minutes until next period. gahhh. no one updates anymore, it's very very odd.

a couple days ago i was talking to sam and he was like "ok so i was really delirious last night and i was just like... I AM JEFF BUCKLEY." and i thought that was so funny... i was like "what the hell?" so he wrote me a letter and i'm gonna write him a letter back and address it to jeff buckley. i love writing letters. if anyone wants a letter from me, i will gladly write you a witty one. (or if you want to write me one, that's always fun to get mail!) i am just very lazy about it, but i love doing it. yeah.

haha, jacob was just like, "some guy once said it's ok for homosexuals to marry... as long as they don't marry each other." that was pretty funny in a really sad way.

my one main question about homophobia is, if homophobes could actually get rid of gay people, where would they go? to hell? do they think homosexuality is just a hoax, something people do just to piss them off? what are they THINKING?

a while ago when i went out with that girl and she put her arm around me on the train and the old scuzzy men were staring at us... i wanted to laugh, but i couldn't, because i was scared. i was thinking, "dude... to them, it just looks like friendship... they wouldn't beat up two 14 year olds..."

but it was scary. because i had heard so many stories, so i was frightened. i don't think it really hit me till later.

not that anything like that will hold me back from getting a beautiful girlfriend and showing her off.