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bling bling!
<<2002-04-26 - 6:57 pm>>

i didn't do much today. i was SUPPOSED to go out with lily but she totally flaked out on me which frustrates me just a wee bit, but i got to go out again with the object of my affection. i can't say her name because people who know her read this journal but... gaaa... GAAAAHHH!!! she's so... gah. i don't know. i wish so badly i could convey how i feel for her... she's so perfect (and yet NOT, at least for me. she and i are very mismatched. and she's got a boyfriend anyway. just my luck) and smart and funny. she's a little pervy, which is ok, but it makes me feel kind of weird in public. i don't know. i am just really sick of hungering after something i can't have. i wish i could just... stop liking her, and find someone else. someone else who is not: a) straight and b) totally flirtatious with everyone. which makes me feel like crap, when i know it's not like... i don't know. BLAH. whatever, this is really frustrating. what i'm saying is that i'm tired of having this crush because it's not going anywhere.

i saw a wild turkey on my way home from the train station today. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT RULES? DO YOU? no, you don't... so i'll tell you. i was walking along with my head down and then i kinda half-glanced up and i was like "whoa dude, that's the ugliest lawn ornament i've ever... OH JESUS!!!" i started laughing like hell and nearly toppled over. dude, the turkey was SCARY. it was SO hilarious. it was like bobbing and jerking like it was doing the robot or something... i wanted to throw something at it to see if it would freak out, but i didn't for three reasons: this was a very big turkey. it was also quite possibly a rabid turkey. and that's just cruel anyway. but either way it was so hilarious. i stared at it for a while and tried to make it come towards me (now that i think of it, what would i do if it came over? PET IT ON THE HEAD?) and finally it started to like waddle over and i got frightened and ran away. i think maybe i'll draw a picture of my turkey experience so you guys can have some visual aid. FEEL MY PAIN!

i heard the new eminem single. i laughed because he makes fun of moby. i didn't hear who else he made fun of. i DO like eminem's music, and as for the controversy that surrounds him- that's so played out. i take no sides. i think it's just fake anyway. i feel sorry for his wife and his daughter and anyone else that he's offended or hurt, both physically and emotionally, but... seriously... who gives? it's old. you know by now he doesn't mean any of it. he's just doing it because everyone expects him to. i'll probably buy his album anyway.

hmmm.. oh, yeah. i have to leave this coming thursday for like three days to go on that kayaking trip. blech. i don't really feel like going.. i know my mom is just gonna totally give herself a hernia worrying about it and whatever and i'll be totally overprepared. they gave me this like two page list of supplies i need... and most of the stuff was like "chapstick, 1 baseball hat, an extra pair of shoelaces" and stupid crap like that. knowing my mother, she'll probably buy everything on the list... twice.

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