crazy long ramble. too tired to think of a title.
<<2002-05-08 - 9:25 pm>>

speaking of which, there's this ULTRA MEGA ANNOYING DITZY SKANKY UGLY SMELLY HO BAG that i drive home with every day. every single word out of her mouth makes my stomach churn with putrid tormented hatred. however she submitted a poem to the school magazine ("litmag") and it was surprisingly good. hm. i want to kill her.

we have a quiz in physics tomorrow. the class started TWO DAYS AGO. does anyone see anything wrong with this?! our teacher is such a big dork... i love joking around and being dorky back at him. sometimes in the middle of class i'll hurl my pen across the room and make no move to get it, just to see what he'll do. i only do that when his back is turned so he gets all confused about who threw the pen. it's actually fun. and today he was asking me stupid questions and writing my answers on the board as i said it. the problem was that i didn't really know the answer because i was hella tired, so i was kinda like "umm... velocity... 60 km... graivdhngkiasuh...gargggglllee" and he actually documented my gargling into words on the board. that was entertaining.

have i said anything about dan, my old crush, being in my class? i can't remember at all. i've told like a billion people. luckily, he;s a worse slacker than me, so he didn't show up for class today. i was very happy for that because i was out of it and the sunburn on my nose was peeling VERY unattractively. i am so shallow!

dan's old nickname was falbert, because he looks like a cross between fab and albert. now you know why i have a crush on him.

ok, this entry wasn't nearly as short as i had imagined it would be. originally i planned to say "put up new wallpapers, school is boring, my sunburn is a pile of crap" and then end it.

i posted like ten or fifteen times on the coldplay messageboard today. it was kind of hilarious. i just totally made up smack and posted it because i wanted to up my number of posts. so far, the title under my name says "junior member". i want to post enough so it says "member," (i didn't realize how funny that is, kind of. i think only dirty-minded and/or stupid people will laugh with me on that joke.) which requires like thirty or so posts, i think. then there's senior member, which you need like at least a hundred posts to get. after that... i don't know. whatever. the strokes board is next on my agenda... i am slow in getting to that one. i'll probably join within the week....

i'm so exhausted. sorry to ramble. i REALLY want to have another chris martin dream... i was thinking about it in french today after talking to jordan way late last night. the way i love chris martin is definitely not the way i love fiona apple or hilary wood or anyone like that. chris is totally, absolutely obsessive. i think about him every minute of the day, and it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. i would totally stalk him if i could, that's how scary i am. but my adoration for fiona is really calm and quiet. it's like i've taken a step back from my feverish fangirlishness. and hilary wood is more respect than actual love, though she is gorgeous. she just looks so GOOD holding her bass in her arms. i don't know. i sometimes get so INTO my obsessions. it's odd. my love for either gender differs. boys are more feverish, they make my stomach turn and my mind uneasy. if i crush on them or obsess about them, my crushes/obsessions are usually very short-lived (although lately they've held fast for longer) and so intense that it hurts. it starts slow and unsure and then suddenly it EXPLODES and after that i become so obsessed that i can't stop thinking about them. then after that it fades very quickly. if it's with a real life crush, usually after the initial fade i get extremely, paralysingly scared of them. that part kinda sucks. but with chicks, it's much calmer and more comforting and reassuring. there's something soft and sweet about it, unrushed, no pressure, just fond, almost childlike love. my crushes never grow to the e boiling point that they do with guys, and that makes my life a LOT easier. and when they fade, they fade easy and slow, and i am never intimidated afterwards.

basically what i'm saying is that i can't stand loving boys as much as i do or the way i do. it really sucks. except chris martin still makes me happy.