the sam bible
<<2002-08-03 - 11:12 pm>>

i'm at sam's house, and he just pulled up my diary on his browser and searched my entry and started scanning it for his name.

"WHAT?" he demanded. "sam... sam... what? no sam?"

i meekly suggested that if he would move then i could make an entry all about him.

so he's waiting patiently on the armchair about five feet away from me, telling me about his music- "if you had to narrow it down to two, it's liz phair and aimee mann, you know- cos i'm just attracted to women musicians."

hmm, i like this whole 'writing things as they're happening' deal- it's probably not very practical since i can't really carry a computer or notebook with me everywhere. but it makes everything much more lucid.

so anyway. sam.

right. sam...

we saw austin powers 3- it was sad and useless. me and sam both agreed that it sucked out our souls in a very merciless manner- except for the part when beyonce (don't forget the swoosh on the "e") knowles goes "SHAZAM!" and punches a guy. yep. high kwalitee.

we're listening to aimee mann really loud - her new album streaming at aimeemann.com - and i accidentally clicked on song number 8 and sam was like "i haven't gotten this far yet!" and i was like "oh jesus, i've ruined your virginity!"

but then the song fucked itself up - i suppose the gods wanted to protect sam's virginity just a little bit longer, the poor sweet defenseless soul - so now sam is playing me his own music. he's playing on the piano next to me and singing.

so i don't know if you guys know this yet but i am in complete awe of sam. he's about to read this so i better say everything i think about him now so i don't have to say it aloud to him later: sam is pretty fucking perfect i guess. we're kind of mean to each other on a daily basis (but, uhh, it's all in good fun) and sometimes i wonder if i'm not just an insensitive whore and i think, WHY did i just say that? what the fuck does he think of me? i dunno. i feel pretty easygoing and safe with sam, like i can say and do the stupidest shit and it's okay. okay, i'd say everything i felt about sam.. if i KNEW everything i felt about sam well enough to be able to say it. so instead i'll just say... sam is very special to me.

he's finally finishing his album on august 14th. so i'm thinking i'll buy like fifteen copies and sell them like girl scout cookies, door to door.

"hi, would you be interested in purchasing an album by the future of rock n roll? he's my idol AND my best friend by the way."

so, in case you were wondering, yes, this whole entire entry was SUPPOSED to be about sam. i did a pretty good job, don't you think?

now he's standing behind me and playing a michael penn cover. that reminds me of awkward michael penn-beatles conversations between me and evan... awkward, yes. ahh, yes.

the quote sam & i have most repeated since earlier today: "i'm an angsty teenager... oh god, i'm about to angst all over the floor!! nnngghhhh!"

i saw his play too. it was really fucking cool which was a surprise. i mean, it wasn't a surprise because i expected them to put on a crappy production of it- i liked it alot. i fucking hate plays with a passion. they're so pretentious. ahgdoiadg. anyway. so yeah, it was chekhov's "the cherry orchard" and it was really, really good. sam did great. i thought he was the best. and no, i'm not biased. at all.

so i guess i should probably end this entry here because my fingers are kind of aching and i'm sure sam is tired of playing michael penn covers for me, but it's nice to listen to. sam has a really cool voice. it doesn't sound at ALL like his speaking voice but i've gotten used to it, you know?

and he really wanted me to edit this to add that he totally beat david in the FRIENDSHIP RING OF FIRE!

sam has really bad poison ivy over his wrists - but remember, kids, that does NOT make him any less of an attractive person.

okay, he's done. the end.