my brain feels so stupid
<<2002-10-14 - 12:26 am>>

the book i was talking about was "sarah" by JT leroy. i only bought it because it's named after me, but it turned out to be super fucked up and hard to understand and kind of stupid. i felt like i was reading what would have been faulkner if he were an oversexed post-pubescent drug addict. but the characters weren't as good and neither was the plot and... well... it was just kind of shoddy. the guy who wrote it is only like 22 or something though, so hopefully he'll get better.

so that leaves me with five remaining books to read before the weekend. why five, and why before the weekend? because I SAID SO. anyway, it's not going to happen. i'll get to page 5 of ONE book by the time friday rolls around... if i'm lucky. fucking homework. fuck you.

speaking of which i have about 14 pages of history textbook reading stuff to do and it's 12.30 and i haven't started it. i also have to finish my two rolls of film that i was assigned for photography class, which is impossible because one of the rolls was supposed to be about water, and we're not allowed to use flash, and it's dark outside, but the only water i can think of is outside. unless i take 36 pictures of my toilet bowl, my shower, my faucet, and the water cooler in the kitchen. somehow i do not think that will be an A+ sort of thing. and i have to write like ten sentences in french but the shit we're studying in french is SO WAY BEYOND MY MEAGER COMPREHENSION that it makes me cry to even open my french book. passe compose? imperatif? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. although i've been considering purchasing an icelandic dictionary as of late, and now that i think about it, the first page would probably make me cry. to put it lightly, icelandic grammar is like snorting anthrax from the buttocks of an attractive male model. enticing, but deadly.

i haven't really made a proper entry in ehre for a while, i think. or at least that's what my mind and my guilty conscience tells me. i have about two new diaries, both of which are devoted to the worship of different aspects of sigur ros. one to sigur ros itself and the other to their drummer, orri. mmm..orri (swoon).

i went on a huge shopping spree today, and got THREE NEW PAIRS OF PANTS (FUCKING CHEER FOR ME!) which is amazing because never in my life have i ever had more than two pairs of pants at a time that actually fit me, and now, with the addition of the two pairs of pants that i stole from sam, i have SEVEN PAIRS OF ATTRACTIVE AND COMFORTABLE PANTS. (or trousers, depending on what side of the world you come from.) i also got three shirts which are pretty cute, a cute-as-sin brown puffy vest, and... um... oh, a new bag. it's gray corduroy and it's really nice and small but it has hella room inside for my camera and my books and my cd player. so now i can fit all that extraneous, distracting shit that i didn't have room for in my green ass-crap-thingy previous bag. my first messenger bag was from the gap, and i got it when i was like 11, it had apple juice stains and dirt and gum all over it and "I (heart) CRACK" and shit on it. so a new bag made me happy.

i don't know if my ranting for ages about nothing actually counts as a real entry but it makes me feel better, and more important.

i've felt kind of oddly off lately. kind of urgent. everything to do with music in my life right now is fucking depressing. i hate music. i think. no, that;s stupid, i lied. never mind. music just frustrates me.

ok, i told this to ahmed once in the heat of the moment of unbridled passion and i realized it was TOTALLY TRUE: the reason i absolutely do not need love in my life at ALL (besides andy) is because i completely preoccupy myself with loving bands. chris martin was my fucking BOYFRIEND! in a really indirect way! does that make sense? it sort of does. but yeah. once i said "loving coldplay is the closest i'll ever get to true love" and it was basically a completely true statement. of course i don't love them anymore, at least not like i used to (now i just miss them horribly), but basically i just devote myself to a band and they're like my lovers.

okay, this entry is done. go read a book or something.