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<<2001-11-17 - 12:54 a.m.>>

whoa doggies. i just watched the best movie in the history of the world. the SADDEST movie, that is. "boys don't cry." i watched the movie without shedding a single tear until the last five minutes, when (SPOOOILLLLERRRRSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!) john shot brandon through the head, and then i just shrieked and started to cry. and then i couldn't stop. even after the movie was over, i had to MAKE myself stop crying. it was a terrible movie in that it was devastating beyond belief. (okay, apologies if this is lame, but i had a really long entry about it before and then i accidentally lost it, so now i'm sort of not as emotional anymore.) but it's just the most powerful movie i've seen in a depressingly long time. i really, really, REALLY recommend it. just don't watch it with parents around - lots of graphic sekshual contents. >>;;

but the movie raised a lot of questions for me, especially since i related to it in a lot of ways. i mean... would you refrain from living in a way that gave you peace and made you happy, just because in society's eyes, it was 'wrong"? brandon had to lie every minute of his life, just so he could give himself peace. he was a boy on the inside, a girl on the outside - it wasn't his fault. he paid with his life for the ignorance of others. call me crazy, but doesn't that sound slightly un-fucking-fair to you?

i dunno. it's too much for me to think about.

on a slightly better note, i also rented "the doors". i hate val kilmer, but i love jim morrison, so fuck you. does it seem to you that i rent too many movies? i really don't. i just love watching a great movie, especially when there's so much shit out in the theaters lately. that's why BDC has shaken me so much. i wasn't really prepared for it.

hm. it's friday. well, actually, now it's an hour and eighteen minutes past saturday morning, november, the 17th i think. holy god, i am so tired i can barely even think. i'm slumped over in my yummy little beanbag chair named franky, and my stomach feels funny and i just wanna sleep - but then again i don't... and i can't sleep anyway cuz jay's sending me a song. "ruby soho" by rancid. maybe i'll go watch BDC again. or catnap.

sleep. yum.

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