heeere i come to save the daaay
<<2002-03-10 - 12:40 am>>
i was bored, so maya made this for me. and i was still bored after i finished, so i posted it here.Current time: 12:21 am
Current location: beanbag chair in my room
Middle name: catbert (just kidding. that's classified info.)
Pets: max, goldie, PJ, mona, misha, maxwell, noah's fish
Best friend: umm... i'm best friendless right now
Favorite sound: sam's laugh, chris martin's voice... lots of things make me happy.
Person you hate most: i dunno... lots of people, probably jacob and britney spears
Smell that nauseates you: farts and the sight of spit makes me gag big time
Sexual fantasy: hmm... something all romantic and cliche with super passionate hot sex at the end
Non-sexual fantasy: having a mind like bobby, becoming famous somehow, being a songwriter or a prose writer... getting through fucking high school... turning sam straight
Single or taken: well, technically i'm still with my girlfriend but i never see her anymore and i'm kind of sad and pathetic and lonely... so... single!
Pet peeve: hmm.. the howling wind, and my door that knocks around and wakes me up in the middle of the night. and fucking dickface jerry falwell. BASTARD
Current background noise: banging door, howling wind, the clicking of my crappy ass keyboard, jeff buckley
Political party: democratic. i think. i'm not really political. except i know bush is a fuckhead.
Worst feeling: well.. i hate it when members of my family attack gays... i guess... and i'm there but i can't speak out...
Best feeling: oh boy... i dunno... the only one i can think of right now that seems worth mentioning is letting it all go in the form of words on the page, not for anyone else but myself, for the gratification of reading the syllables that flow so well. the feeling of pride that wells up as i see the words construct into something coherent from the bottom up. building a world. it's incredible.
Flavour: STRAWWWWBERRY
Language: japanese. or british. seriously - english and british are two VERY different things.
Best word: cootybollocks, pants, skanky ho
MPH before you get scared: i dunno, i've never gone above 85
Person you'd like to meet: roberta, jeff buckley, CHRIS MARTIN (hahaha), julian, aneesa from the real world!!
Worst thing about your life: my parents.
Best thing about your life: i dunno... the worst things about my life can at times also be the best, which is confusing. i love watching the way i'm changing, but i also hate the fact that things are morphing and becoming different and i can't quite keep up with myself.
Favorite memory: ohh... lots of things... i can't even think of how to begin... holding my puppy in my arms for the very first time. and being at the top of the ferris wheel with chip and jessica. and sitting in amanda's lap in the tiny cab of the truck while the wind was making us nearly blind. lots of things.
Current time: 12:37 am
Current location: six inches to the left of where i was when i first started
i was feeling very gay and introspective tonight. can you tell?
sam and i are having a lengthy conversation about important things. it's probably the deepest we've gone, but it depresses me slightly that it's online. he's the kind of guy i'd MUCH rather talk to in person. it started easy at first - we talked about real world and SNL and all sorts of shit that we talk about all the time. then sam told me about seeing a hot waiter, and then i told him how i never see joanna anymore, and we talked about how sad and lonely we were. and then it just went further from there - we talked about his mood swings and stuff like that. i love sam in so many ways that he doesn't even know because he is THE only person i can talk to about their problems and not get totally edgy.
PlatonicBlues: when i laugh i usually mean it
GoldmineVelvet: but when you're home and you're alone its like "i hate myself and... i want to die"
PlatonicBlues: yeah...i have mood swings...like really bad, it happens all the time but i learned to hide it a long time ago
GoldmineVelvet: sometimes i think i can kind of see the swing... but then you're laughing again and i'm not really sure if i was hallucinating or not
PlatonicBlues: ellen and the rest just think im spacing out...that's what basically happens or thats what it looks like
GoldmineVelvet: yeah, it's sort of like you go away and then come back but it's different somehow
GoldmineVelvet: you kind of retreat and you get this funny look in your eye
GoldmineVelvet: and then you come back, laughing and being all sammy, but somehow... you kind of like... look a little different, i think
PlatonicBlues: yep...that sounds pretty right
deep and meaningful shite aside, he'll always be sam, y'know?
PlatonicBlues: SEX
PlatonicBlues: oops...that slipped out
PlatonicBlues: that's my ice breaker
sometimes, i really wish i was about ten years older so i didn't feel so old all the time... hearing this stuff, thinking it the way i do.
arrrr... i am so meaningful and sappy tonight... i should just KILL MYSELF before it gets out of hand!!! where is my old arslan happy self?! where is my shallowness?! OHHH THE HUMANITY!
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