drew and fab, the bagley and ROBERTA
<<2002-05-19 - 1:13 pm>>

anyways, the pride march yesterday was really, really sucky. it didn't even happen!! it got rained out or something so no one came and it was just super stupid. we didn't get to see the real world people, but i didn't really care. i thought i'd be more disappointed than i am, but we think that chris rice and co. just never came at all. they were probably like, "we're MAJOR CELEBRITIES! we don't need to stand out in the rain for a bunch of limp wristed wannabes!" so they didn't come.

but bagley prom last night was uber fun. it was basically a rave scene so sam and lily m. and aspen and ellen and ellen's friend just left after a while. that sucked. i still feel bad, i feel as if i should have gone with them, but i didn't. i stayed back with micah, because one of my most guilty vice-y pleasures is RAVING. i LOVE dancing sooo much. i am totally gonna just be a clubbing ho when i turn 18, every night i'll be out there. and addam and this guy alex were soooo good at raving... addam does the same moves every time but he does them really well. hahaha. i dunno, it was weird because i'm 14 and i was sitting in a group of about six 18 year olds and they were all talking about their like, um, experience and giving head and all smoking lots. twas, um, odd. BUT i have never seen so many gorgeous men and women in one place before. making out. it was crrrazy. hahaha. everywhere you turned people were grinding and dirty dancing and slipping their tongues down someone else's throat. and caitlin was TOTALLY teasing me, i wanted to hit her or kiss her, i couldn't choose because she's 18 and not quite the best looking specimen.

right now, this second, i'm at the point where i'm choosing what i want to do with this. do i want to adopt a lifestyle and make the fact that i kiss chicks into how i operate? do i want to have a circle of exclusively gay friends? do i want to choose that right now? because right NOW, at this little excerpt in my life, i do. being at the bagley last night just totally tore me between absolutely wanting to kill all the people there that had a date or someone to cuddle with all night, or try and FIND someone to cuddle with all night, you know? like i kept thinking "haha relationships are STUPID," but alot of the people looked happy. and i dunno, it was alot of fun dancing and stuff, but i had this other feeling of loneliness... the chicks (wow i love that word.. except you get funny looks when you use it in public) were, by majority, not that good looking. omg but the GUYS... gawdamn. i have never seen so many pretty boys in one place in my life. i was ready to cry. but after a while i kind of stopped looking at them because they were all grinding with their boyfriends. hahaha. ouch.

so yeah. and then when micah was driving me home last night, we got lost and i had to call my mother for directions... but my mother won't allow another person who's not a parent to drive a car, so when i was talking to my mom micah was talking like a woman and i had to pinch myself to keep from laughing. that was cool.

oh and then on the subway on the way back we saw mary lou lord! no one knows who she is but's she like this acoustic guitar goddess and she's ADORABLE. we bought three of her cds (one for me, micah and lindsey) and it was sooo cool. i went home glowing.

and i got to wear this james dean t-shirt that i bought for lily that i am SO in love with. i definitely don't want to give it up, but i have to. it says "KING OF COOL" across teh top and james is leaning on his motorcycle. it's totally shwing. it probably smells like sweat and smoke and stuff though... i should wash it before i have to give it back to lily on monday. haha.

blargh. that's it. i had meant to make this entry really short because i know i get really boring when recapping the events of a night before but i had to drag it out.

oh wait, and then a really stupid addition: when i was at lily's house and trying on froofy 80's-dresses to wear to the bagley (i can't stand dresses so i just wore jeans of course, and my superior JAMES DEAN t-shirt) i put on this dress that didn't really fit, it was like a velvet black bodice with giant gold froofles, but i glanced at the tag and it said "ROBERTA". i giggled over that for no reason at all. it just said ROBERTA and that was it. i wanted to take a picture of it, but it probably wouldn't have come out anyway and it was stupid too. it was just... ROBERTA. so, there you go, roberta... that dress really DOES have your name on it... hahaha. oh, jeez, i kill me.